


"The Talk" - Poor Peter Parker

by DustyLion



Category: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Avengers Tower, Coffee, Coming Out, Cute, Embarrassment, Everyone Is Poly Because Avengers, Fanart, Fluff, Gay, Gay Peter Parker, Gay Tony Stark, Irondad, M/M, One Shot, Pansexual Character, Pansexual Peter Parker, Pansexual Tony Stark, Second-Hand Embarrassment, Texting, spiderson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-10-05 23:55:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17334767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DustyLion/pseuds/DustyLion
Summary: Peter Parker is a fan of fanart, especially fanart of Spiderman, Ironman, the Avengers, and more, but when Ned finds out, it's spam-a-lot time! Ned starts sending all kinds of fun fanart to Peter's phone. Hope that the Avengers don't find out about Peter's secret ships!





	"The Talk" - Poor Peter Parker

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mimirou](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mimirou/gifts).



> Here's some adorable, embarrassing fluff to sweeten your day! Just a cute little scene about how the Avengers might offer their "help" to a young Spiderman.

“You really need to get a new phone, Peter…” Ned frowned, glancing over his friend’s shoulder to see a cheesy Ironman wallpaper obscured behind a web of cracked glass.

“Yeah, I know… Mr. Stark keeps wanting to give me one of his new models, but I… I dunno, I just like the one aunt May got me.” He blushed a little, thinking of how much Tony Stark razed him about not being able to take care of his electronics and how Stark Industry’s newest phone was virtually indestructible. The idea of a phone like that was pretty sweet, but he had his pride.

“I can’t believe you’d turn down a free phone like that! Those things are like… five thousand dollars or something!”

“Yeah, I know…”

“Dude, are you looking up Spiderman fanart?”

“Oh! Um… No…” Peter turned a little to hide his phone from view while he started closing apps.

“Yes you were!” Ned came around, grabbing for the phone.

“No! It’s not—It’s not that--! Don’t!”

Phone in hand, Ned tripped over their backpacks and rolled once across the floor, excitedly pulling up the internet app and scrolling through the open tabs.

“Ned, seriously!” Peter wished he was wearing his web slingers as he grappled for his phone back.

“There are some really great artists out there! Look at this one!”

Peter was blushing furiously, hoping Ned wasn’t going through ALL the tabs open on the internet. He struggled still, pulling on Ned’s sweater and reaching for his phone.

“How come you don’t have this as your background instead of Ironman? If I were a superhero and people were making fanart of me, I’d have POSTERS made of it!” Ned scrolled down a few pages and then moved on to the next tab. “Oh, okay! There’s some REALLY great Ironman fanart too. Like this one! And this one! Woah look! Someone drew all the Avengers and put YOU in there! And then there’s you and Ironman—Hey, do you think people know that Mr. Stark made your suit? OMG, someone said they think that you’re his SON… Actually… I think a lot of people… Woah… OH NO… OOHH NOO…”

Peter had given up. His face was burning. He felt himself melting into the floorboards. He had stopped struggling and just went awkwardly stiff.

“Peter… Um…”

“Don’t say anything! It’s not… It’s…”

“It’s okay… I mean… It’s fine, really.” Ned was blushing too. “You and Ironman… I mean, Mr. Stark?”

“NO!” Peter disentangled himself and sat up, rubbing his hands over his knees. “It’s definitely not like that!” He looked over at the corner of the room. “Well, the dad thing, maybe… It’s…”

Ned handed him his phone back quietly with a soft smile. “No, really. I think that’d be super cool. If Ironman was like your dad. You don’t have to be embarrassed about it.”

“It’s the internet. Those people are crazy.” Peter rolled his eyes with a half-hearted sigh.

“Buuut…” Ned smirked a little. “You were still looking up fanart.” He grinned now, giving Peter a sidelong look as Peter’s blush came back hard and Peter was fighting back his own grin.

“You need to SWEAR that you’ll never—“

“OMG, NEVER!”

“NEVERRRR!!”

“SERIOUSLY, DUDE. Your secret is SUPER safe with me!” Ned’s eyes were round and his mouth was a serious if albeit forced frown of seriousness.

“If Mr. Stark ever found out… I’d kill myself.”

“Yeah, no. Totally. I know.” 

Ned and Peter just nodded together for a few silent seconds.

“Sooo, like…”

“Yeah?” Peter glanced at Ned again, whose smile was creeping back.

“Are you top or bottom?”

“FREAKIN, NED, NOOOOO!!!” Peter jumped on him, wrestling and punching Ned in the chest and arms as they laughed way too loud.

____________-_______________

 

“Peter Parker is here.” FRIDAY said cooly as the penthouse elevator door slid open.

“Hey, kid! C’mere and gimme a hand with this thing, would you?” Tony Stark’s voice called from another room.

“I’m coming, Mr. Stark!” Peter dropped his backpack off by one of the sofas and trotted down the hall to where Tony was engrossed in a messy electronics project. His eyes widened in surprise as he entered the project room and saw that several of the other Avengers were also in the room.

Tony was working on something that was currently equipped on Steve Rogers. Bruce Banner was hunched over a gadget at the table, tweaking something and wincing as sparks flew out. Nat was beside him, sitting back and reading a newspaper. Even Thor was here; leaning back against the counter and enjoying a very large mug of coffee, like, a pint of coffee... 

Steve Rogers was frowning as Tony was adjusting some complicated looking tech onto his upper arm.

“I need you to figure out this interface with Mr. Rogers’ arm shield thing.”

“CAPTAIN.” Steve said sternly, letting out the smallest, angriest sigh. He still didn’t know who ‘Mr. Rogers’ was, but he knew it was a joke aimed at his expense.

“Sure, I can help!” Peter smiled shyly up at Steve, sharing a look with the man as he took the small tools from Tony and started to focus on whatever the issue was with the tech.

“Pete, are you busy this weekend? I could use another genius to help with this new set up I’ve been working on for the team.”

Peter’s phone buzzed in his pocket. It was a message from Ned. They had been texting earlier. “Um, yeah, I think I’m free. I’ll have to see if aunt May needed me for anything, but yeah, I can come back tomorrow too!”

“Great. I’ll feed you and you can stay the night if you want. It’s probably gonna be an all-nighter. You kids can go for like, three days without sleeping, right?”

“Tony, the kid needs sleep. Don’t keep him up all night,” Bruce groaned, not looking up from his work.

“And don’t let him use you like that, Peter.” Nat scolded gently, glancing over her shoulder to give Peter a motherly look.

“It’s fine, really! I love doing this kind of stuff for Mr. Stark.”

“Just call me Tony.” 

“Look, if you can’t use first names correctly, then you shouldn’t have yours used correctly either.” Steve glared at him pointedly.

“Right, um… Mr. Tony.” Peter blushed. His phone buzzed again, this time two or three texts in a row.

“Your phone’s going off,” Steve nodded at Peter who was crouching beneath his raised arm to get at the device. “Aren’t you going to answer it?”

“Oh, that’s not a call; someone’s just texting me.”

Steve frowned, not sure if he wanted to bother to ask for clarification on what the difference was. “What if it’s important?”

“It’s just my friend, Ned. Really, it’s fine.”

“You don’t know if it’s an emergency.”

“Ned would call me if it was an emergency. He’s just texting me right now. I’ll read them later.” Peter shrugged off the silly annoyance of ‘the adult who doesn’t understand’.

Steve nodded solemnly for a moment, but then couldn’t help but adding “What if he’s in a situation where he’s unable to call and can only send messages?”

The whole room got awkwardly silent.

If Peter’s ‘spidey-senses’ had been perfectly fine a moment ago, now his stomach was crawling. “Geez, okay! Now that you’ve made me all worried!” Peter backed off and set down his tools, reaching for his phone now.

As he swiped open his screen, his messages app was still open and now loading up all the images that Ned had been spamming him with.

“See, he’s fine, he’s not in trouble. He’s just sending me some stuff…”

Stuff like fanart of the Avengers and Spiderman and lots of cool pics of Ironman and the team doing awesome poses. Now that they had shared their secret of loving fanart, Ned wouldn’t stop sending him tons of images that he found all across the web. And stuff like—

“What’s that?” Steve asked, easily able to look over Peter’s shoulder and see a picture of ‘Irondad’ and ‘Spiderson’ sitting together on the edge of a building eating sandwiches in their suits.

“Nothing!” Peter clicked his phone to sleep and shoved it back in his pocket, but he was too fast and it missed his pocket, scattering to the floor and turning back on.

“Did you draw that?” Steve asked, bending down politely to pick up the phone.

“NO!” Peter squawked, wincing at his own adorable voice crack. “I mean, no! Really, please don’t—“

“It’s really cute!” Steve smiled. “Hey Nat, look at this,” he chuckled and handed the phone over the back of the sofa. As he did, his thumb swiped across the screen and opened up the next picture… of Spiderman hanging upside down and kissing Tony Stark on the forehead.

“Oh, is that…?”

Peter just got a glimpse of the screen as Nat took the phone and showed it to Bruce too.

“Is that Tony?”

“Who? What? Me?” Tony perked up and started coming around the large coffee table to see what the fuss was about that apparently involved him.

“Oh, um…” Nat’s moment of embarrassment missed its opportunity to take back the phone as Tony leaned over and took it for himself.

“Look at this screen! I can’t believe it, you’re still using this piece of cra—Oh my…” He lifted his glasses and stared at the picture on Peter’s phone. “It that me? … Is—is that you?”

“O H M Y G O D , P L E A S E N O O O O O . . . !” But they were already swiping through the collection of progressively suggestive fanart.

Everyone turned to look at Peter, but he wasn’t there. The four Avengers quickly glanced around the room. Thor was still in the room, just standing at the counter and minding his own business, looking suddenly noticed. “Oh, you’re looking for the spider boy?” He nodded toward the far side of the room as he poured himself another whole pot of coffee.

The room was empty, but then on the upper wall, Peter was crawling around the corner to hide up on the ceiling out of sight.

“Peter!” a chorus of adults called to him, all sounding like parental concern and gentle persuasion. 

“It’s not my fault!” Peter cried, not coming down.

“Hey kid, it’s fine!” Tony sighed, “I don’t care! You can like whateve—“

“Oh man, please don’t…!” Peter’s voice was pathetic.

“Tony, you’re making this worse!” Nat scolded.

“What’s going on?” Thor asked, finally getting curious enough to see what the excitement was.

“It’s just…” Bruce offered the phone to Thor, just to show him a quick glance rather than try to explain it out loud.

“Sweetheart, please, you’re okay!” Nat had walked across the room to try to convince Peter to come down. “Don’t be upset!” Steve was following her and adding his suggestions, being kind and apologetic.

“So what if he’s gay? I don’t care. He’s adorable. Alright, I said it. The kid is adorable. I don’t care.”

“Tony, I don’t think it’s like that. It’s just pictures of you… and him… and um…” Bruce was losing ideas of how to explain things.

“I don’t’ understand.” Thor frowned. “ It’s quite common for young men to develop feelings for their lords or masters. Boys will often have a go at each other in friendly sport, to satisfy their needs and curiosities…”

“Wow, Thor… Please stop.” 

Tony wanted to take the phone back from Bruce, but he was already turning it off and shaking his head ‘no’. 

“Peter, please come down! We can talk about it! No one is going to be upset with you!”

“I want to die… Oh man, please just kill me.” Peter mumbled to himself, wanting to cry more than anything.

“It is just lustful urges! There’s nothing to be ashamed about!” Thor boomed, grinning up at the highest corner where Peter was sticking to ceiling and burying his head in his hoodie. “You’re becoming a man! Every man has had his adventures with other men! Take me and my brothe—“

“Thor, NO! Not helping!”

“Just let me talk to the kid. Peter! Come on, we can talk about this! You’re fine!” Tony offered. “Everyone has a crush on me. I’m used to it.”

Suddenly Peter’s phone started to buzz and a really annoying yodeling ringtone started to play. Bruce looked down at the screen and saw Ned’s picture come up on caller ID. “Oh man…”

“Give it to me,” Nat said quietly with an authoritative air. Tony tried to take it once again, but Nat had the phone in hand and was walking away while she answered “Hi Ned, this is Natalia Romanova, Black Widow? Um, I’m answering Peter’s phone right now because he’s not able to come to the phone… Yeah… I’m sorry. What? … Oh, I know… No, he’s okay. He’s here at lab.”

Tony folded his arms and grumbled to himself, debating whether or not he should ask FRIDAY to download Peter’s text history later. Bruce looked extremely uncomfortable and exasperated, unsure how to handle a situation like this. Steve couldn’t decide whether to keep trying to call Peter from off the ceiling or just stand there with the rest of the adults. Thor was already brewing his third or fourth pot of coffee for the morning, grinning and shaking his head as he chuckled.

“Yes, I’ll let him know. Thank you for calling. I’m sure he’s ready to get going now. Thanks Ned.” Nat hung up Peter’s phone and walked calmly across the room while all eyes followed her. “Peter? Ned says he needs your help with some Legos over at his house. When would you like to head back?”

“Right now!” Peter let go of the ceiling and landed lightly on the ground. “Yeah, no, I’m totally good here, right Mr. Stark?”

“It’s Tony.”

“Oh man, Mr. Stark…” 

Nat glared daggers at Tony as Peter blushed even more and hid himself behind her. She escorted the poor teen toward the elevator, pressing his phone into his sweaty palm as she picked up his backpack and handed it to him on his way. “I’ll take care of these guys,” she whispered reassuringly to him. “You’re okay.”

“Eh… thank you…?” Peter ducked inside the elevator and pressed his back against the nearest wall, tucked out of sight while the doors closed. He opened his phone to see what the last image was. It was an adorable drawing of Spiderman looking shy and sweet while Ironman ruffled his hair and said to him ‘Good job, kid.’

The last thing he heard before the elevator closed was Black Widow raising her voice against the other Avengers and arguing over who was responsible for embarrassing poor Peter and ruining his privacy.

“NED. I HATE YOU.” He texted back, right beneath the image that he was probably still going to use as a background eventually, once the insane amount of embarrassment wore off.


End file.
